The Lonely Island guys, Captain Jack Sparrow/Michael Bolton, Akon, John Stamos, Ed Helms, Maya Rudolph, William H. Macy, yes you read that right, and a bunch of dudes dressed in light blue gimp suits are the sex champions.

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Captain Jack Sparrow’s, hopefully, triumphant return to drinking rum, unlocking things, smelling horribly bad and generally stealing, pillaging and plundering everything in sight. Here he is propositioning, or maybe not, for you to… well. See for yourself.

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